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Homosexuality is fear-tainted topic

The letter was straightforward and to the point.

"Dear Dr. Menninger:

"My daughter, age 26, has just admitted to lesbian practices, and I am in need of a psychiatrist who could give us help with her."

Actually, the letter left me unclear who was the more troubled, daughter or mother.“

Often, it is the parent who is most distressed and who wants the child to seek help. Perhaps that's because the parent feels some kind of failure on his part.

Why a failure? Because our society is still pretty uptight about homosexuality. When the subject comes up, reactions are often emotional and intense.

Why is it that we get so uncomfortable with the subject?

What are we afraid of?

What is it that provokes such feelings, often violent, ranging from anger to disgust, with sometimes a tinge of fear?

The reasons lie deep in our personality, and most often people don't really know. They may give you a reason that it's "wrong," or it's depraved or a menace to society. Visions of child molestation may be conjured up.

The intensity of reactions in some suggest a fear that homosexuality might be contagious and a need to defend oneself against the likelihood of becoming homosexual.

In reality, individuals with a primary homosexual orientation are not more likely to be criminals or child molesters. Studies have shown well adusted homosexuals in the community to be no different from well adjusted heterosexuals in psychological test performance.

There are a good many people who carry on both heterosexual and homosexual activity without gross evidence of being abnormal.

Further, there is a period in everyone's normal growth and development when our orientation in establishing relationships is mainly toward others of the same

sex

during grade school and pre-adolescent years.

This is the time when children are learning about themselves by

Dr.

Walt Menninger

boy-boy, girl-girl activites, solidifying their sexual identities. During this time, it is the "heterosexually" oriented child who is the deviant, the sissy, the tomboy.

In adolescence, there is normally a progression of interest to seeking social activity and sexual stimulation from the opposite sex, but same-sex groupings still take place, in fraternities, sororites,

and so forth.

At this time, however, some young people find themselves to be different. They are "turned on" sexually by others of the same sex rather than the opposite sex. And this is no small dilemma.

Coming to grips with the dilemma of homosexual arousal may cause much heartache and anxiety. One young woman wrote to me and suggested these youngsters be given this kind of advice:

"If you find a sexual relationship with another person of your own sex about to develop in your life, it will take a special effort to give the other all the love and support he or she needs. You may even need the help of a counselor to weather the punishment you will receive from society. But the effort should be made if you want to gain lasting satisfaction from all your relationships."

Indeed, it is important to realize that the goal of real, lasting satisfaction in relationships with others is not dependent just upon a heterosexual or homosexual orientation, but on your ability to give of yourself.

The majority of psychiatrists believe that homosexuality, in and of itself, is not an illness.

Individuals who are deeply troubled by feelings of homosexuality and who want help to change may find that help in psy-

choanalysis or psychotherapy. For those who are not interested in changing, it is a waste of time and money to get treatment.